Thursday, December 4, 2008

Poop Trauma **BEWARE** may be too graphic for some audiences!

Okay, so I consider myself to be pretty good with poop (Bella's, that is)! I don't gag or freak out when changing her diaper..... B U T .... I do, however, have MAJOR issues with poop being where it is not supposed to be.
Places poop is meant to be...
the toilet (always the best place),
um.... okay, that's about it!
So, those are all the places poop is supposed to be. Small list, I know, but somethings in life have very specific designated areas.... in my opinion, poop is one of them!
Places poop is NOT meant to be...
in sleeping areas and/or bedding (i.e. cribs, beds, sheets, pillows, etc),
on flooring of any kind (i.e. wood floors, tile floors, especially carpeted floors),
in bathing areas (i.e. tubs OR showers)
and especially NOT in and down both legs of footie Pj's!!!!
I say all of this because one of my poop nightmares came true this morning (and, yes, I have more than one poop nightmare scenario!) Bella has recently started taking off her diaper. In the past, I have caught her early enough for anything bad to happen but this morning was an exception. I was making breakfast for Bella and noticed she was quiet and lingering in the entryway and... well, grunting.... which these days can only mean on thing... POOP! So I let her do her thing in peace and went to survey the damage when she was done. When I asked her if she had a dirty diaper she immediately shot off towards her bedroom for me to change her.... it was then that I noticed a medium-ish size brown stain on her backside. I assumed she had just leaked out and picked her up to head to the bathroom.... it was then that I realized something was very wrong. I could feel with my arm that her bottom had no cushion.... where was her diaper??? I laid her down on the tile floor of the bathroom {thankfully} and unzipped her footie Pj's to find a poop catastrophe!!! It was everywhere... covering her... waist to toes! Bella had taken her diaper off underneath her Pj's {a talent in its own right} and then shoved it down one leg. Therefore, giving the poop limitless freedom of where it could go! I tried to wipe some of it off but couldn't keep Bella's curious hands away, so I just put her in the tub.... poop chunks and all. After the initial scrub down, I then took her to our other tub and gave her a second washing. She was unfazed, of course, but I will be forever scarred. Our bathtubs will never be the same to me... no matter how many times I bleach and scrub them I will never be able to feel like they are clean again. There is just something about poop that ruins thing forever. And the precious Pj's with the little pink lamb heads on the footies... TRASH!!! I know that is so wasteful of me and reminds me of when Marc and I first got married and would forget something was in the fridge and when we finally discovered the leftovers turned science experiment... we often just threw it away... Tupperware in all. BUT these Pj's... that is different... poop is a FAR cry from mold. There is no way I could image washing those Pj's, much less putting them back on Bella's now clean body.
Even worse, I know there are probably even more hideous poop nightmares awaiting me in the future... mainly the one my mother keep warning me about. The scenario being... {One day while I think Bella is taking a peaceful nap, she will actually be taking her diaper off and smearing poop on her crib and walls!!!} There is hope though, I have heard not all babies smear poop... but unfortunately I think Bella is at a genetic disposition thanks to her father and stories I have heard of him as a baby!
But of course....
Bella is still our little angel....
even if she is a little poop angel!!!


mmelo said...

AHAHAHa...I am laughing HYSTERICALLY. What I want to know is how she can take her diaper off when she has pj's on? What a little sneak!

The Magsigs said...

I feel your pain! Luke's dirty diapers have a way of leaking all the time. I have washed the seats in his jumper and exersaucer about a thousand times, not to mention his bumper and bedding. It ends up being a very long day when it happens first thing in the morning. I just count myself lucky if it doesn't end up on me :)